VeeRat

I've been keeping a journal about my experiences with Covid-19 since March 27, 2020. I certainly didn't expect to still be writing about it in 2023. My frustrations were already coming through in my writings, even on that first day:

“Today I'm feeling more hopeless about Covid-19 than I think I ever have. We've tried to do everything right.”

“[Husband] went for a drive a couple days ago, and was alarmed to see so many people out.”

“Hospitals are already overwhelmed. They're talking about blanket Do Not Resuscitate orders for people with the virus. They're prioritizing saving young people. They're talking about hooking up multiple people to single ventilators. And still our idiot president is saying he wants people back to work by Easter.”

“I'm worried about all the people who bought guns. There were lines around the block at gun stores.”

“We had 3.3 million people file for unemployment yesterday...they are giving money to businesses instead of giving money to people so that they can survive and wait out the virus.”

“My friend [who is a healthcare worker at a walk-in clinic] has a single mask to use. She keeps it in a baggy and only uses it when she absolutely has to. Which I would think is all the time now, but I can see that she has to prioritize. She said there have been a lot of stupid people, people who were told by their doctor to go to the ER, but they 'didn't feel like going there' so they went to the walk-in clinic instead. And then she has to send them to the ER anyway.”

I started this journal as a Notepad text file. I labeled it “Journal-Corona.txt”. This year, I changed the name of the file to add “2020-2022” and then I started a new text file for 2023. It's been much harder to motivate myself to keep it going this year.

This year's entries still express frustration, but now it's different.

March 14, 2023: “I completely don't get it. Maybe it's my own neurodivergent brain. I don't understand how people can ignore the studies and information on covid. How do you shrug off a disease that destroys every organ in your body? How can you not want to avoid that at all costs?? How do you allow your children to catch it over and over??”